All your base are belong to us

Thedi Vandha Lakshmi

with 9 comments

I’m currently seeing someone, literally. Actually we’ve just known each other for a week or two so the highly infamous “Talk” happens to be a luxury I can avoid for the moment. She isn’t exactly the sole beacon of hope in my otherwise dark world nor I am her knight in shining armour; at least not until crazy astrologers confirm that the world will end in 2012. Now, how to go about describing her? Not the easiest of tasks… Average looks and pleasant personality I would claim, though a few others wouldn’t even bother to credit her with that much. (Strangely, she has quite a few enemies). I’m not very sure she’s all that bright, but we do seem to share a few interests. She does appear to be quite demanding but hey, when you are god’s gift to women, you have every right to remainly fairly confident that you can knock every single ball out of the park. *Touchwood. Truth be told, I’m not really sure where I see this relationship in the future.

Then there is Lakshmi (we shall call her that for the sake of adherence to the title. Her real name might C-3PO for all that you care). Now this woman is one helluva badass, believe me. She epitomizes every thing the other lady is not and may never be: Glamour, Intelligence and a great reputation. She is a bit short-tempered and eccentric from what her ex-es’ tell me but hey who isn’t? We don’t seem to share that much in common but frankly, when you are that hot who cares.

And it was a dark, stormy night… Okay, okay, it wasn’t exactly stormy, just bloody cold and all nights happen to be dark so I was just trying to be melodramatic. Do you know recent research has proved that over-dramatization does pay? And, I digress once again. That night, we both found her seated next to me in my humble abode. The above-mentioned qualities rendered me irresistible and she was coming on to me like none before. She tried to seduce me. Her message couldn’t have been clearer. “She wasn’t satisfied with the people she had gone out with in the past. In simple terms, she wanted me”. Now I wish my parents had named me Fidel Castro so I could do a Chandler and claim that Fidelity is my first name. But it wasn’t and political correct-ness wasn’t exactly my thing either. So, I summed up my feelings in two letters “N.O”. “No hard feelings, right?”, I asked, voice laden with guilt. “Ofcourse not”, the hot girl smiled.

Yeah right.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

For the uninitiated, the title is an allusion to an old Tamizh movie, translating approximately to “The Angel (Lakshmi) who came searching for me”. The rest of the allusions and metaphors are for me to know and you to find out.

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Written by Chronoz

January 29, 2010 at 7:32 pm

Posted in 103

Tagged with ,

9 Responses

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  1. Your first post ever to intrigue me. Now what are the metaphors supposed to imply? You obviously took a very tough yet vital decision, snubbing the easier and more convinient option for the greater good. Now you are tormented with self-doubts. Quite understandable.
    I have just one thing to say. Never cold-shoulder a hot girl, not least when she’s coming on to you like that. And as goes the oft-repeated catch-phrase these days, Krow up. Bros before hoes, remember?

    On a serious note, I liked the post. Double entendres and deep lying meanings always please me. Intrigue me, yes, but are a pleasure to read. We shall have a discussion about the same some time later.


    January 29, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    • I like writing cryptic posts as well. It’s the pleasure of publicly posting something deep and dark, but living in the satisfaction that no one has really got it.


      February 6, 2010 at 4:05 pm

  2. Indeed, your first post to baffle me!
    But i liked it.


    January 29, 2010 at 8:46 pm

  3. Seriously, I guess no one could have gotten the metaphors more clearly than I possibly have, but hell, God save you! Seriously, isn’t it more of enakku iruvadhu unakku muppadhu than thedi vandha Lakshmi ?!?
    and heck, yet another blogomaniac!
    oh and knock every single ball out of the park? Joey would love to take you to the knicks sometime!


    January 30, 2010 at 4:52 am

    • I don’t see how that title is appropriate. Seri vidu.


      February 6, 2010 at 6:17 pm

  4. Alright, m’boy. Metaphor laden post, melouwes. But I will be needing details if YOU are entitled to them. Orey louwe in the air. Kadaiseela, I was talking about my pal machine-nu sonna, seruppala adippen. 🙂


    January 30, 2010 at 5:43 pm

  5. Hella nice post. I knew that it was all allusions and metaphors from the first two lines. Heh. I vote for the ‘seruppala adippen’ option proposed by Shruthi.

    But seriously, wth was all that about?


    February 2, 2010 at 1:00 pm

  6. Heh. Yes. I know the feeling 🙂


    February 5, 2010 at 11:38 am

  7. OP: I could be slow (lord knows I have been told lol) but that made absolutely no sense…

    Rejser til Finland

    February 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm

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