All your base are belong to us

Aeon Flux

with 15 comments

It is that familiar time of the year again, when every group family on campus worth its aloo-subzi hyperactively initiates its annual family planning ritual. It was however during a completely different and predominantly enterprising endaevour that I found myself back in Fort knox, the only difference being that I was now the hunter. The smell of fresh meat pervaded the atmosphere, being on this side of the table was sure going to be fun, such sadistic pleasures came to foreplay. *Pop (goes the weasel).. These “confident, interesting, outgoing <insert cliched term used by freshers to describe themselves>” people burst my bubble by prefixing, suffixing and affixing every possible statement by three irritating letters Sir(jee?). Being a firm believer in the philosophy that “Respect should be commanded and not demanded”, this is one thing about R that had always irked me. Yet never had reality hit me this hard; whoever said “giving is better than receiving”, sure wasn’t kidding. “I’m just 18 for christ’s sake, not any older than you, and in all probability no smarter either”, I wanted to scream out loud, but the morons’ adulation for me knew no bounds. Before I knew it, sirs were being hurled at me left, right and centre. The I-was-just-waiting-for-this paranoia of being too old soon started knocking my door.

19 years on and Senescence still remains one of the more arcane elements of life. Perhaps it is the Almighty’s own divine way of saying with panache, “Screw you… I’m the maaaan”. As I enter my last year of teenage-dom (Or have I already crossed it? The 19 completed, 20 running thingy always confuses me), the metaphorical difference between 19 and 20 has never been so apparent. I shall soon embark on the journey that from the land of the young to that of theΒ  young-at-heart, while the clock (relentlessly) ticks life away. As the all-encompassing 21.2 looms large, I seek solace in Mathematics. If there exists an average, then clearly the set must contain ATLEAST one element below the average and I consider myself to be the chosen one.

One fine day when I’m 63 (which FYI is 42+21), I shall be regaling my grandkids with glorious tales surrounding mah heroism – my romantic escapades, innumerable concubines, jostles with the templar knights, revelling in my imagination. And then my second childhood shall set in.

But it’s not the bard’s magical words which ring in my mind but a classy one-liner from a even classier maddu song, “Jalsa” (Do download it. It’s worth the effort, I promise you).

Irukara varikum anubavikka ilamayae yethukko da
(Learn to accept youth till it lasts)

Happy Birthday, bah, a poor excuse to pick a man’s pocket every year.

P.S: *bows to Freddie. You are a legend.

P.P.S: Happy Birthday rapu-ra!


Written by Chronoz

August 26, 2009 at 7:18 pm

15 Responses

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  1. 1. Nagged by Sirjee uh? Certainly you are better off than me who’s called bhaiyya jee sir by colleagues 3-4 years older than me πŸ˜›
    2. Hehe… I am still 18 πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›
    3. Jalsa Rocks indeed πŸ™‚
    4. Happy happy budday once again! Have a sooooooooper-dooper year ahead

    Awesome post, may I add. πŸ™‚


    August 26, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    • Bhaiyyajee >>> Dong **ag anyday!! Is R-Land listening?

      And danku once again


      August 26, 2009 at 7:52 pm

  2. Is the senti fever doing the rounds?
    Wishing thou a cheerful end to thy teenage.*myself confused about the 19 end,20 running thing*


    August 26, 2009 at 7:40 pm

  3. Happy happy Shreyas boy.
    The Sir thing is a whole different ball game altogether. It grows on you, and you start liking being called Sir by the time you’re in 4th year.


    August 26, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    • Danku πŸ™‚ Weren’t you the one who got senti when someone called you uncle or mama?


      August 27, 2009 at 6:28 am

  4. happy b’day buddy… will enjoy them……the pro-teen days….

    R S

    August 26, 2009 at 9:10 pm

  5. πŸ™‚


    August 27, 2009 at 3:39 am

  6. The sir thing can be embarassing, but you must admit the facchas this year are bloody morons. And 19 or 20 matters not, while the heart remains young and fresh.
    May you live long enough to see the Scousers lift the Premiership.


    August 27, 2009 at 5:21 am

    • That remains the best ‘happy birthday’ greeting i’ve received all my life. *sniff. Thanks mate, but no thanks. I’d like to die after a particular age. I mean, who’d want to live forever πŸ˜›


      August 27, 2009 at 9:11 am

  7. When you’ve been listening to System of a Down for over an hour and are only three fortnights away from 21.2, the last thing you want to hear is a nineteen year whine about how old he was getting.

    Happy birthday anyway. And spare some of the Vathu Kuzhambu for me.


    August 27, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    • I am tempted to add, when you walk into Nesci, you don’t recognize anyone.

      Vatha Kozhambu for your Filter Coffee. Its a deal!


      September 5, 2009 at 12:46 pm

  8. Hey Shreyas… At last i found a medium of wishing u happy b’day….. man u r a busy bee….. didn’t pick up ur phone o ur b’day……..and the post’s just too good….. very enlightening for a someone like me with a humble knowledge of the english literature….. and that i am getting old stuff.. now stop demoralizing us…. i still feel like an errant school kid……wish u a very happy (belated) birthday…
    PS: Praises heaped are an investment for a chapo !!!


    August 28, 2009 at 10:12 am

  9. I am the last one here…

    Well, it’s funny to think of people like you and kanakkithodi talking about 21.2! Cracks me up, repeatedly. But anyway, to cheer you up… While 21.2 happens to be the mean of the observations (no double entendre intended), maybe we ought to consider the Median! (The mode might disappoint you too)

    Another wish from me though!


    September 9, 2009 at 12:08 pm

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